Stupid

My current favorite website is Upworthy.com, which posts videos, pictures, readings, whatever that are inspirational or call for change. I found a video today of a mother talking about the word stupid with regards to her children: one "typical" child and one child with special needs. It was especially interesting to me as a future special education teacher to hear her discuss how the word stupid can go farther than simply hurt one's feelings; it can begin to teach one how to describe oneself or see oneself. No one, with or without special needs, should believe that description works for them. 

Watch the video. I believe it is so important that we actively try to stop such things from happening, no matter how small they seem. If you like it, leave a comment or share it or, even better, do something about it.

Jackie

A Sigh of Relief

I am so proud of the United States Supreme Court today. The Defense of Marriage Act has been overturned and Proposition 8 has been overturned. I am so proud.

I am also a little disappointed. I am disappointed that it took this long for equality. I am disappointed that there are still states that do not recognize gay marriage. I am disappointed that there are still states that do not recognize human rights.

Gay rights are human rights. Everyone deserves equal rights no matter who you love or what you look like. We are all human and we all have rights.

That said, I am thrilled about today's decision. I can't say much that hasn't already been said, but I felt I had to say something. There was no way I could stay quiet on such a beautiful day! I hope this fight for human rights continues until every single person is accepted for who they are, no exceptions. We have a long way to go but it's worth the fight!!

-Jackie

You go girl!

I must admit, the title of this post is a phrase I dislike. It makes me cringe to hear someone cheer, "You go girl!" I think it's just silly and I usually feel quite embarrassed for the recipient.

That said, I thought it was an appropriate title because my topic today is feminism. Girls rock. I love to see empowered women taking control of their lives. We have come so far from the days when women were expected to be housewives and mothers regardless of their true goals and dreams. Women can achieve so many amazing things and actively contribute to our society. I think most people would agree that empowered women are an extremely great asset to our country and our world.

However, many people are also quite uncomfortable with the word feminism. The immediate assumption is often something along the lines of bra-burning, women-only power and a hatred for stay-at-home moms. That is not, in my opinion, feminism, and the self-proclaimed feminists I know agree.

Feminism is about gender equality. Feminism is about freedom of choice. Feminism is about a community in which all individuals can contribute equally to society without fear of discrimination. Along these lines, it is perfectly acceptable to be a feminist and a stay-at-home mom, as long as you are not forced into it. It is such a shame when women openly declare that they are not feminists because they have misconceptions of what feminism truly is. I don't think any woman desires to be discriminated against based on their gender. I certainly do not.

In a very basic example, I was out to dinner with a couple of friends and the waitress came over to get our drink orders. She stated, "We do have specials tonight, but they're only for beer, sorry." She didn't even tell us about the specials. She just assumed that since we were women, we didn't drink beer. What is that? As a woman, isn't she irritated when she is pigeonholed into a stereotype? I know that some women just don't think about or care that there is still discrimination and inequality against women, but when they actively encourage those stereotypes, it reinforces our position as second to men. I am not saying women should be valued more than men, but rather than women should be equal to men. All I am asking for, all feminists are asking for, is equality and respect. That concept isn't so difficult to accept, is it?

-Jackie

A Four-Letter Word

The Steubenville rape case has truly disgusted me.

Not only that, but the media coverage of it has actually made it worse. One would think, one would hope, that nothing could be worse than the actual assault itself... but when the media laments the loss of the boys' promising football careers, the sex offender charges that will stay with them throughout their lives, and their loss of innocence, it makes the whole situation worse. (Or so I think. Obviously it did not happen to me so I don't know.)

How can our so-called civilized society still blame the victim? HOW?? How is it a woman's fault if a man seeks her out and chooses to use her for his own pleasure? Because the woman is drunk and can't say no (or anything, for that matter), it makes it alright to use her? If she doesn't/can't absolutely say yes in a clear state of mind, she is saying no. (Of course, men are victims too in some cases. I am referring to a woman because in the case of the Steubenville rape, it was man to woman and that is most salient in my mind right now. I do not mean to leave male victims out of this in any way.)

People should not rape other people. It is literally that simple. It is a disgusting show of power and dominance. The Steubenville boys chose to inflict extraordinary physical and psychological harm to a girl. They chose to steal that part of her. They chose to use her. They chose to be rapists. That is absolutely not an acceptable choice to make, and they deserve to face the penalties for it.

-Jackie

Frustrations

I've been feeling very frustrated lately.

I am taking a class called "Perspectives on Race, Gender, and Ethnicity." I am more and more glad I am in the class every time we meet. We are reading so many interesting articles and engaging in discussions that I really have never sought out. Those topics are generally pretty uncomfortable, but it's absolutely essential that we discuss them because there are people everywhere experiencing discrimination based on these characteristics. (Obviously, there are people experiencing discrimination who do not fall into those categories, but the class can only focus on so much at once.) How can we fix these problems if we don't start by discussing them?

Anyway, I'm loving the class. I finally feel like I can have a dialogue about racism and sexism with other people who are interested (or maybe just need the course requirement) and hear different viewpoints.

At the same time, I am frustrated because I feel so helpless. We keep saying that we need to change the system of racism along with our own personal racial issues. How am I supposed to do that? I am, like I said in my last post, trying to be more active in issues about which I feel strongly. Not only is it hard to prioritize these when someone is always suffering no matter which cause I act for, but it is also hard to know what to do. I will try to be more open in my own dialogue, but how do I change a society historically based in racial discrimination?

For now, I'll just keep my eyes and ears open and act when I can, no matter how insignificant or small.

-Jackie

A Small Act

Today I made a decision. A small decision, but one I am proud of all the same.

As I paged through the latest issue of Good Housekeeping (I have a gift subscription - from whom, I still have no idea after a year of receiving magazines), I noticed something that made me slightly uncomfortable. I continuously happened upon the words "your husband" or "my husband" throughout the articles I read. Perhaps it was because I do not yet have a husband or perhaps I was just extra sensitive today, but I couldn't get over the number of times I read those words. There is obviously nothing wrong with having a husband, but what about those women who do not have husbands? What about women who have wives? What about women who are not looking for any sort of life partner? Women of all dimensions and lifestyles are keeping up homes and looking for housekeeping tips (as are men, but I do understand this is a magazine targeted toward women) and deserve to feel represented in such a magazine.

I made the small decision to write a letter to the magazine. I do not expect to start a revolution or anything, but I wanted the editor to know how I felt. I suspect I am not the only person who has reflected upon this issue, but for all I know, I could be the only one to say something. I would much rather be the fortieth person to say something than the fortieth person to not say something.

I have started to examine my actions and decisions a bit more in depth as of late (perhaps I am developing a greater confidence in myself or perhaps I am just getting more reflective) and I know that I need to start acting when I am uncomfortable with a situation or an issue rather than thinking about it or ranting about it to my ever-patient boyfriend. I am hoping that by blogging, I can not only hold myself accountable, but also put my thoughts out in a more public domain. I am not always sure what the right thing to do is, but I hope that this will encourage me to do what is necessary, even if it takes a little bit more work.

-Jackie